Angela Mitchell

Our talented Daughter of the Month, Angela

How did you get connected with The Fatherless Daughter Project?

I became connected with The Fatherless Daughter Project through Facebook. My half-brother, with whom I had no real relationship, had just gotten married. Seeing all the pictures of people who were my family –  but whom I didn’t have a relationship with, including my father – put me in a lost state. So I went looking for something that could relate to me being fatherless so I wouldn’t feel so alone. That’s when I found The Fatherless Daughter Project.

Can you tell us in a few sentences about your personal story of father loss?

My father was in and out of my life until I was about eleven. He literally lived about fifteen blocks away from my house with his family. When he stop coming around, I was devastated. I could never actually figure out what I had done or didn’t do to make him stop caring, and that feeling is something that I carried into my adult life.

What has been the biggest challenge being fatherless?

The biggest challenges I’ve faced being fatherless is always feeling like an incomplete puzzle and inadequate. I always look at my mom and see the features and personality traits I’ve gotten from her, but then I reflect on myself and I don’t know where in the world the other half of my looks and traits came from. I could always assume they come from my father, but one can only assume when you don’t know. I’ve also dealt with inadequacy. My father has produced six kids and raised four. I was not one of the lucky four. As a teenager, I always wondered why I wasn’t good enough to be included. I was always comparing myself to my other half siblings. I guess I always felt like I came up short.

 Angela (right) with her half-sister, Ashley

What has helped you to survive?

As cliché as it may sound, writing poetry was a great outlet for my feelings. I never really felt like I could speak to anyone because all my friends had fathers. And when, on occasion, I did speak to my mother, I saw the sadness in her face. I knew that face. It was inadequacy. I could see that she felt like she hadn’t been enough to stop me from feeling incomplete. So I stopped talking and just wrote to express myself.

Is there a special person(s) in your life that has helped you find healing?

I’ve had several people tell me, “You’re wonderful. He’s the one missing out. Not you,” but they all have fathers. No one can relate and help you heal like someone in your shoes. In 2007, I decided to get in touch with a few of my half siblings on my father’s side. One of them was my half-sister who my father chose not to raise either. We are two sides of the same coin. By realizing how wonderful she is, it made me realize how wonderful I am. And it is clearly our father who came up short to miss out on the lives of two amazing women.

Where do you shine?

Where do I shine? I’m working on that. I’ve recently graduated from college and I aspire to become an elementary school teacher. My spirit has always been drawn to education and children, so I believe it’s my calling.

What would you tell your younger self?

I would tell my younger self, “You ARE enough. Don’t let the mistakes of others, including your father, turn you bitter. Live in happiness. You’re worth your weight in gold in happiness”.

Angela graduating with a Bachelor of English in Liberal Arts

If you could have a theme song, what would it be?

“You Gottta” by Des’ree

“You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser

You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger

You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together

All I know, all I know, love will save the day.”

How do you hope to make a difference in the world?

Statically speaking, there are a lot of fatherless children in the world, and they’re going to continue to be a lot more. As a teacher, I hope to prove that being fatherless doesn’t make you inadequate or incomplete, it’s make you a fighter. A very strong one.

Fill in the blank: “The most amazing thing about my life is _______________.”

The most amazing thing about my life is it’s only just beginning! I’m getting married in November, working on becoming a teacher, and one day I will have kids of my own. The world has so many possibilities.” ☺

Angela being adorable with her fiancé, Marcus

An original poem that Angela shared with us about the absence of her father in her life:

Half of Me

by Angela Mitchell

I wonder how it would be,

to have the half that makes a whole of me

Daddy’s little girl

His favorite woman in his heart,

His number one fan in the world,

that he molds into beautiful art.

The ideal model of a man,

the resemblance of the guy of my dreams,

who will one day take my hand,

and be the man made for me.

From the walk down the aisle,

to the beloved father-daughter dance,his joy is no longer a child,

But a beautiful bride transformed at a glance.

No Daddy’s girl

no “no other like him,”

no favorite man,

no walks in the park

or down the aisle,

no father-daughter dance,

just a fatherless child.

I wonder how it would be,

to have the half that makes a whole of me.

 

Thank you for sharing your beautiful words and inspiring story with us, Angela. We are blessed to have you in our sisterhood!