Rebecca Fraiz

 We would like to introduce Rebecca Fraiz, a woman who wants to inspire others through her story of survival, growth and self-expression. She has indeed inspired us with her artwork and her beautiful reflections on how to lead a life of meaning, despite not knowing one’s father.

We hope you will also be encouraged and touched by her words in this interview:

How did you get connected with The Fatherless Daughter Project?

Through Facebook.  I saw a link that had the “Fatherless Daughter Project” and it applied to me and so  I followed the link.  I am grateful for this project because it has helped me feel valued and empowered by the things shared on the site.

Can you tell us in a few sentences about your personal story of father loss?

My parents were divorced, and we did not have any connection with my father throughout my life.  I didn’t understand what happened nor did I realize the impact of the loss until later in life.

What has been the biggest challenge being fatherless?

The biggest challenge I had when I was growing up was having a continual “empty” feeling.  A feeling that I was missing out on something very important – something that it seemed like most people had.

As much as I tried to “stuff” my emotions about the loss, Father’s Day was always a reminder of what I did not have (the relationship of a “Daddy’s girl”).  For many years, when people would asked me if I missed not having a dad, I would say, “How could I miss something that I never had?”

In addition of being “fatherless,” with regards to a relationship, it also meant being without other things.  For my family initially it meant living in poverty for many years of my childhood.  And the domino effect of being fatherless became bigger than “just” not having a father.  It also meant a host of other life impacts throughout my life (i.e., how I felt about myself, relationships with others, trust, etc.). 

What has helped you to survive? 

My faith in God has brought me through many storms in my life, and God has never left my side. I have always looked for a “sign” that would help me believe that He was with me.  By that, I mean something outside the ordinary that I could attribute to His hand and/or love in my life.  It could be through a person, a book, a movie, a song, a saying, a small gesture from someone, or something happening out of the ordinary.

Because of this attribution, I would be strengthened no matter what circumstances happened in my life, and I could “make it” to the next day, and so forth.  I didn’t know this, but I had trained myself to always look for the GOOD in a situation and I usually found it when I was looking, no matter sometimes how bad it was.

I also learned about the “seed” concept.  Whatever you “plant” in life will produce whatever is planted. I had to change my perspective on how I viewed life and the decisions and choices I would make.  I had to view life as a “gift” and not from being “without”.  This was really hard for me and I had to face truths about myself and all the ways I was impacted from being fatherless.  This is a work in progress every day!

Is there a special person in your life that has helped you find joy or healing?

There are four special people in my life that have helped me throughout the years.  My oldest sister, who was a second mother to me; my middle-school teacher, who took me under her wing and guided me through my rough teen years; and my two close friends, who have always been there for me.

Where do you shine? What is your top talent(s)?

I shine at work.  I have worked for my company for over 21 years and have worked various jobs throughout the company, showing growth through each position.  I am a writer, and I create quotes from my life experiences – someday I will write a book.

I am also an Artist at heart!  I love to create.  It has helped me express my inner self, and I love to share my art with others.  My artwork has consisted of:  photography, calligraphy, ceramics, former glass blowing and recently, since June, I started painting.

What would you tell your younger self?

I would tell my younger self not to be afraid, that she is not alone and that she is worthy of love and kindness all of her days.

If you could have a theme song, what would it be? 

My theme song would be “After the Rain, Seek the Rainbow.” (A title Rebecca wrote herself.)

How do you hope to make a difference in the world?

Recently, my daughter gave me a card and in it she wrote to me: “You lift others up through your talents.”  I hope to be this in the world – to make a difference by feeding the soul through my art and my writings.

Fill in the blank: “The most amazing things about my life is_______________________.”

“That I am a survivor.”

I have overcome many odds through faith and help from others.  I have an amazing family, friends and community.  I have a job that is challenging and that I also enjoy.  I am always learning, growing and healing.  I am a creator, and I love expressing myself through art and writing.

Thank you, Rebecca!

If you are interested in being our Featured Daughter of the Month, please email us for more information.