Gloria Carpenter

How did you get connected with The Fatherless Daughter Project?

I had co-written a song about my inner struggles growing up without a father and wanted to share it with other women who had gone through similar experiences. So, I did a search online for fatherless daughter organizations and there was the project!

Can you tell us in a few sentences about your personal story of father loss?

My parents separated when I was 5 years old, and I remember the day that he walked out the door, not knowing that he wasn’t coming back.  I was put in a day care center until the age of 9, and he promised to come and see me but rarely showed up for his visits.  He then moved away, and I didn’t see him for 6 years. On the night that he left, he came up to my room to say goodbye, but I pretended I was asleep because I couldn’t bear the fact he was leaving.

Christmas card

From that day on and even today, I have a hard time saying goodbye to people without crying.   My father was my first love. I vividly remember saying to him, “Daddy, will you wait for me to grow up so I can marry you?”  This is why it was so devastating to lose him.  I saved a Christmas card that he gave me as a child that made me believe he really did love me.

What has been the biggest challenge being fatherless?

Dealing with insecurities, self-doubt and not feeling good enough.  I now realize my father’s actions were based on his own internal damage and that he had to do what was right for him at the time. However, as a kid, I felt I was to blame. I didn’t feel good enough for him to stick around.  I had no sense of self-worth, self-respect or self-love. I was lost. Fortunately, my siblings and I have recovered in our own ways and are whole again, but it took a really long time to get here.

What has helped you to survive?

I can attribute my loving and supportive family and friends for helping me through the tough times. That is, of course, only once I started speaking my truth of how much pain I had endured as a child.

Gloria and Her Dad

I was very shy and withdrawn growing up and didn’t feel comfortable talking about my feelings. On the other hand, I was also born with a very positive personality and learned how to survive by putting on a mask and pretending that everything was OK. After failed relationships and a very intense break-up with a man I adored, I checked myself into therapy. I realized I had developed a pattern of  either choosing men who weren’t totally committed or subconsciously pushing them away because I didn’t want to get hurt.

Self-help books by inspirational spiritual leaders like Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay and many others, my belief in a Higher Power and belief we are more than we think we are have all helped me tremendously.

Lastly, music was, is and always will be my therapy. Ironically, I inherited my musical genes from my father. In this sense, he’s always been with me.

Is there a special person(s) in your life that has helped you find healing?

Yes, my loving, supportive, gentle, easygoing, sweet husband.  He loves and accepts me for me, faults and all.  I feel free with him and I know he’s always got my back.  This is my 2nd marriage, and I can honestly say that it’s the first healthy relationship I’ve ever had.  It’s a really nice feeling to know that he’s not going to be walking out the door!


Where do you shine?

Definitely when I have a microphone in my hand and am performing!  I knew at a young age I wanted to be on a stage.  I’ve been singing and dancing since I was kid. It’s always been my joy and passion. I feel alive and in the moment when I’m singing, and I believe everyone has “something” that makes them feel this way.  If everyone was doing what they loved to do, this world would definitely be much more peaceful and a happier place!

What would you tell your younger self?

Gloria, believe in yourself! You ARE good enough! You ARE worthy!  You ARE lovable! It’s not your fault that your father left you!  Change your thought patterns and your story about yourself and your situation, and you can change your life.

If you could have a theme song, what would it be?

Oh, I need more than one theme song!  “What Daddy Didn’t See” is a tale of my abandonment and how it affected my life. I could easily write a follow up to this more along the lines of “I Will Survive” knowing that I not only survived but am now thriving!

Gloria’s story and song were also featured on News 12 New Jersey. View it HERE. 

How do you hope to make a difference in the world?

We’re all in this together and for me, it’s about sharing the love.  If I can touch people with something I say, a song I sing, or just a smile or word of encouragement, then I’ll feel like my life is being lead on purpose.

Fill in the blank: “The most amazing thing about my life is _______________.”

…That I started out as a free-spirited child in love with her father,  then grew up in a dysfunctional environment feeling alone, sad, and not knowing who I was but, eventually, I found myself and discovered I had much to offer in this world just by being me…that free-spirited child.  My life is beautiful and I wish the same for every woman reading this article.  Big hugs to all!

Thanks, Gloria. We are stronger with you in our sisterhood!

Gloria Lynn (also known as Gloria Carpenter ) is a professional singer  in the NY/NJ area. More info can be found on her website

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